I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
