she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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