Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
