my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
