did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
it was like his penis was on wheels.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
