No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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