BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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