I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
