man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
