This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just had sex on a roof
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
