Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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