I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
