just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize