My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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