THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She's just so happy...and so naked.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
