i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
