Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
