next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
