Pants 0. Shit 1.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
