If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Randomize