so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
