she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
