Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
