my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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