Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Enjoy the penises
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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