Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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