Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
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There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
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So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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