just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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