i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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