you told grandpa to call you daddy
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
