she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize