i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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