His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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