guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize