You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
