He disabled his match.com account in front of me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
