fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
