Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Randomize
