so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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