I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
