When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
