its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
