im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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