How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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