ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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