Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to find a taint.

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  (724): I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between. (1-724): You need to find a taint. http://tfl.nu/752x
  Replies (24) Good night (2767) Bad night (811)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework

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  (828): I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework http://tfl.nu/o5bk
  Replies (34) Good night (1314) Bad night (4773)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop

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  (720): I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop http://tfl.nu/llg8
  Replies (36) Good night (6036) Bad night (1899)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?

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  (763): how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea? http://tfl.nu/6syz
  Replies (12) Good night (2835) Bad night (984)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot

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  (605): I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot http://tfl.nu/d13k
  Replies (4) Good night (1663) Bad night (1208)
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  (310): View more from California

  So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.

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  (310): So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked. http://tfl.nu/t6e6
  Replies (7) Good night (759) Bad night (1802)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.

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  (504): If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life. http://tfl.nu/0spe
  Replies (9) Good night (2294) Bad night (1144)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS

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  (203): WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS http://tfl.nu/964x
  Replies (9) Good night (1714) Bad night (662)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class

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  (336): just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class http://tfl.nu/i0x8
  Replies (6) Good night (610) Bad night (1579)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.

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  (410): The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager. http://tfl.nu/3fqc
  Replies (8) Good night (763) Bad night (1987)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.

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  (425): Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage. http://tfl.nu/p8gy
  Replies (13) Good night (572) Bad night (2175)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore

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  (440): The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore http://tfl.nu/1tsb
  Replies (4) Good night (927) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck

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  (515): We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place (1-515): I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck http://tfl.nu/93u8
  Replies (2) Good night (748) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.

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  (267): In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY. http://tfl.nu/1mja
  Replies (2) Good night (655) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right

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  (605): Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right http://tfl.nu/8f50
  Replies (11) Good night (1329) Bad night (520)

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