Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?

(1-248): View more from Michigan

be more specific...?

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(248): whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen? (1-248): be more specific...? http://tfl.nu/5e4s

Replies (6) Good night (2003) Bad night (624)
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(804): View more from Virginia

i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore

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(804): i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore http://tfl.nu/d307

Replies (127) Good night (1216) Bad night (3962)
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(301): View more from Maryland

There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself

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(301): There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself http://tfl.nu/388v

Replies (50) Good night (770) Bad night (5511)
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(951): View more from California

So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.

(909): View more from California

dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?

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(951): So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito. (909): dude... how have they not drug tested you yet? http://tfl.nu/fx38

Replies (43) Good night (7079) Bad night (1107)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving

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(262): just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving http://tfl.nu/vnp1

Replies (21) Good night (5645) Bad night (934)
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(516): View more from New York

Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.

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(516): Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer. http://tfl.nu/tp9x

Replies (5) Good night (2376) Bad night (903)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend

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(720): Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend http://tfl.nu/9h3j

Replies (5) Good night (3445) Bad night (958)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet

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(480): I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet http://tfl.nu/9wvg

Replies (3) Good night (4074) Bad night (864)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.

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(802): I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms. http://tfl.nu/3zhe

Replies (9) Good night (533) Bad night (1873)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to

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(775): Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to http://tfl.nu/b8f3

Replies (7) Good night (1031) Bad night (489)
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(716): View more from New York

You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage

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(716): You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage http://tfl.nu/tfgj

Replies (3) Good night (564) Bad night (915)
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(404): View more from Georgia

May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.

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(404): May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks. http://tfl.nu/ar41

Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (373)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.

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(321): Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up. http://tfl.nu/21lu

Replies (3) Good night (365) Bad night (588)
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(770): View more from Georgia

His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis

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(770): His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis http://tfl.nu/4skm

Replies (6) Good night (549) Bad night (462)
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(785): View more from Kansas

The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now

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(785): The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now http://tfl.nu/v0ez

Replies (1) Good night (341) Bad night (178)

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