i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
