Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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