I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.