Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  After last night, I could never be a politician.

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  (248): After last night, I could never be a politician. http://tfl.nu/69mb
  Replies (11) Good night (1286) Bad night (497)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.

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  (210): I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it. http://tfl.nu/afso
  Replies (4) Good night (1529) Bad night (542)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.

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  (802): I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel. http://tfl.nu/5pvk
  Replies (25) Good night (613) Bad night (3233)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...

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  (717): She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever... http://tfl.nu/cgdh
  Replies (10) Good night (5394) Bad night (639)
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  (707): View more from California

  you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!

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  (707): you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?! http://tfl.nu/ug5x
  Replies (17) Good night (3700) Bad night (633)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.

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  (770): I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted. http://tfl.nu/ar9e
  Replies (7) Good night (774) Bad night (4097)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it

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  (603): my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it http://tfl.nu/xy2b
  Replies (3) Good night (2871) Bad night (1061)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.

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  (850): i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today. http://tfl.nu/xq7h
  Replies (4) Good night (754) Bad night (1578)
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  (916): View more from California

  But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.

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  (916): But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening. http://tfl.nu/sf5x
  Replies (2) Good night (988) Bad night (1480)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.

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  (206): be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age. http://tfl.nu/oer4
  Replies (10) Good night (1058) Bad night (463)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  cocks speak louder than words, as they say

  (914): View more from New York

  Nobody says that.

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  (207): cocks speak louder than words, as they say (914): Nobody says that. http://tfl.nu/ymrk
  Replies (8) Good night (1796) Bad night (520)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.

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  (828): If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong. http://tfl.nu/ed76
  Replies (9) Good night (1145) Bad night (318)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.

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  (517): Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard. http://tfl.nu/ngp4
  Replies (2) Good night (810) Bad night (271)
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  (559): View more from California

  They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.

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  (559): They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts. http://tfl.nu/pgwh
  Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (275)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?

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  (613): How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"? http://tfl.nu/g21k
  Replies (4) Good night (813) Bad night (244)

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