You work out of a Hotel?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
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Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again