he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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