we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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