his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
