He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
