She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
try to milk me bitch
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