you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
