on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
