Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
