Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
