how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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