I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
