This girl is more easily done than said...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
