I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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