Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
