Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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