guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
