I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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