Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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